Frequently Asked Questions about Therapy and Counselling
How Does Counselling Help?
Counselling provides people with an opportunity to discuss what is happening in their lives in order to:
- Broaden perspectives
- Consider alternatives
- Seek solutions
Counselling can help people to:
- Increase coping strategies
- Increase communication and negotiation skills
- Increase self-esteem
- Increase awareness of strengths
- Process difficult situations like grief and loss or the experience of a traumatic event
What Should I look for from my Psychotherapist?
- That the person can create an environment of safety, where it is safe to explore personal or difficult issues. Where it is okay to feel vulnerable and to feel 'held' in that space/experience of vulnerability. To feel like your therapist 'has your back.'
- Kindness and compassion
- That your psychotherapist can see the forest for the trees. That your therapist can work with complexity and also with nuance.
- That your therapist can conceptualize how to work with what you are bringing to work on. That they can draw on their knowledge, their professional experience, their life experience, and their way of being, to provide support and expertise to help you move through difficulties and transitions to new possibilities.
- Creativity, innovation and a sense of humour all help
For more about this see How do I know I'm seeing the right psychotherapist
With the arrival of the health and safety protocols at the start of the pandemic, psychotherapists rapidly shifted our practices to accommodate telephone and videoconferences. Many of us work only virtually now and have not returned to in-person meetings. We work with secure platforms and have adjusted how we work to accommodate the differences between in-person and virtual therapy. EMDR Therapy seems to be as effective for most people virtually as it was with in-person work.
For more information see: So You have Questions about Online Counselling?
What Can I Talk about in Therapy?
Some of the things individuals, couples and families have discussed in counselling with me include:
- Childhood Physical, Emotional, Sexual
Abuse, Neglect and Attachment ruptures
- Adult Sexual Assault
- Coming out and other life issues for gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning and 2-Spirit people
- Trans life issues
- Sexuality issues
- Surviving a traumatic event
- Relationship problems
- Grief and loss
- Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar
- Sexual Addiction or compulsion
- Other Addictions/Compulsions (alcohol, drugs, computer, gambling, food)
- Stress Management
- Transitions including life stage, relationship, work
What about Non-monogamy and Open Relationships?
Some couples make a decision to have an "open relationship" or non-monogamous relationship. This can mean a variety of things to different couples from having occasional outside playmates, to having a regular "bed buddy", to both members of the couple experimenting together sexually with outside partners. Having a conversation with a therapist about the boundaries and expectations of this arrangement can help to make the experience feel safer and more fulfilling.
Who Goes To Therapy?
- Anyone who has an issue that acts as a barrier to success
- Anyone who has something difficult to discuss
- Anyone who would like to strategies to manage their situation
How Much Does Therapy Cost?
My fee is $180/hour.
I have access to funding for Indigenous people through NIHB. If this applies to you, you may be eligible for counselling at no cost.
If you have private insurance as a benefit through work, my services may be covered. My services should be covered if your plan mentions Registered Social Worker or Registered Marriage and Family Therapist.
Can any therapist use EMDR ?
Only a Masters level therapist who has attended EMDRIA
- approved training can use EMDR.
I have been EMDRIA Certified for about 15 years. This means I attended Level 1 and Level 2 training (now known as Basic Training), plus I met with a certain number of clients and attended a certain number of hours of consultation about my EMDR work with a senior EMDR clinician.
As well, I have attended further training in EMDR Peak Performance (with Sam Foster, one of the two creators of this approach) and Performance Enhancement training with David Grand. In addition, I have further EMDR training on Trauma and Dissociation with several people including Jim Knipe, Kathy Martin, Kathy Steele, and Bessel van der Kolk. In 2016 I did specialized EMDR training with Irene Siegel on the Application of Mindful Resonance and have integrated this into my EMDR work with clients.
In addition, I have attended the EMDRIA International Conference and the EMDR Canada conference regularly (most recently in 2018). For about a decade until December 2019, I was a facilitator and consultant in one of the EMDR Basic Training programs. I am an EMDRIA-Approved Consultant.
For more information or to make a confidential
Jeremy Tomlinson, M.Ed., RMFT, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist
416 486 2161